Monday, July 27, 2015

A Heart for Jesus

My prayer every day, every night as I lay my children in bed, is that they will have a heart for God and for people. 

 We thank God for the food that's been prepared for us each meal, and before we go to bed each night, we thank God for the day we've been given, and one of the first words Jack attempted was "amen."  It made my heart glad. 

Last week during our meals together, Jack started "requesting" to pray. He would grab my hand (and The Husband's if he wasn't at work) and squeeze his eyes tight, and when I asked him if he wanted to pray and tell God we were thankful for the day and the food before us, he would nod vigorously. And, so we would pray. Again. :) Ella watches, and it makes me thankful that she is witnessing that simple act of gratitude. 

I captured this shot this morning, mid-breakfast, his second request to pray. 

I hope he always takes moments out of his day to give thanks for what he's been given, and I hope he develops a beautiful heart for Jesus. 

Thursday, July 23, 2015

4 Years Ago

5 1/2 years ago today, this guy asked me to be his girlfriend. 

4 years ago today, I married him. 

Through better or worse, we've stuck it out, persevered, fought and made up. He still makes me laugh, and he still makes my heart flutter when he takes my hand and holds me close. 

We lost a baby and are raising two more. 

We bought a house last year that sometimes feels like the biggest money-pit, but it's OUR money-pit, and we're trying our best to make it work for us. 

We wait anxiously each day for the perfect job to open up. 

We love and laugh and live with the little family God has given us. 

Happy anniversary, The Husband. I'm glad you're mine.

Wednesday, July 15, 2015

Room Assignments

Monday afternoon, The Husband decided that it was time to move a bed back downstairs. I say "a" bed because it's not the one we were sleeping in (the very squeaky, uncomfortable one) before The Husband moved upstairs and I moved to the couch and the children each got their own rooms.  I had high hopes that we'd be able to afford to put in AC upstairs so that either he and I could have our bedroom up there or the kids could share it since it's the biggest room. But that never came to fruition, so we've all been sleeping apart for the last 4 months. 

A few weeks ago, we decided that the kids will just share one of the small bedrooms downstairs until we can do something different. And then this girl right here had two or three smack-me-crazy-horrible nights of teething madness in a row.
And, I began to rethink life itself. 

So anyway. 

Monday afternoon, I said that we could just try to share a room with Ella again for the time being or at least until we can buy her a crib of her own. Come on, local
consignment shop! Love that place.   

The Husband almost immediately started moving things downstairs. With the help of my parents (who were unaware they would be walking into a moving zone when they arrived for dinner), we moved all of Jack's stuff into his new room, all of Ella's stuff into our new room, and then moved our bed, side tables, and dresser in there, as well. It's not perfect, but it functions!  
Nothing has been hung on the walls. But I think we'll wait on hanging anything in our room until she's out of there for good. And although I hate bare walls, we may end up rearranging at some point, and I don't want to have to re-hang things.  

Their room, on the other hand, is pretty much set except for the empty wall where her crib will go. 
*Can you see the boy in his "book nook?"*
**Also, please avoid looking too closely at the very brown curtain. I have to purchase two more grey ones to match the ones already in there, but those suckers are expensive! I keep watching for them to go on sale!*
I have all these great items I want to hang in their room, but I'm just not sure where. Any thoughts?  
Two nights in, and we've gotten pretty decent sleep. We move like ninjas into the room hours after she's fallen asleep. We open the creaky door a third of the way and shimmy in sideways, we slowly and softly walk on floor boards to our respective sides of the bed, and we slide almost noiselessly between the sheets. Then, we let out smiling sighs and snuggle close before falling asleep. It's been really nice sleeping in the same bed, the same room as my husband, haha! I hope we can keep it up. I love that girl to pieces, but I will be sooooo happy when she and Jack are happily sharing a room. 

Here's to another (hopefully!!!) good night!

Sunday, July 12, 2015

Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow

Yesterday and today have not been my finest moments as a mom. 

I have raised my voice far too much. 

I have spanked more in two days than I have in the last few months (to be fair, it could also be that my 2-year-old is really practicing that fun skill of "testing the limits"). 

I have been impatient. 

I have been unforgiving. 

I started to believe the lie that Satan keeps whispering in my ear...."You're a sucky sucky sucky mom."


Then, I looked at these little people tonight while they took their bath and remembered some other things. 

I have given countless hugs and kisses. 

I have snuggled and tickled. 

I have read book after book after book (after book). 

I have chased and been chased. 

I have built and knocked down buildings and raced cars. 

I have sung songs and colored pictures, and I have fixed and fed meals. 

I've been an okay mom, too. 


My children are so quick to forgive. 

They see my frustration (Jack signs "I'm sorry" and requests a hug) in those moments, and two seconds later, their smiles return. They love me with a grace-filled love that is almost unrecognizable. 

Why can't I be like that when things don't go my way or someone has hurt me? Why can't I forgive and forget as quickly as they do?

I *can*. 

Most times I choose not to. Out of anger or irritation or hurt, I cling to my emotions with such fierceness. 

I've just gotta let it go. Not just for me; for the little pairs of eyes watching my every move every single day. I don't want them to lose that pure love they are so filled to the brim with. 

Tomorrow's a new day. If God sees fit to grant me a tomorrow, I'll do my best to make it a better one.