Oh blog world...I've missed you.
*Well* that's not really an accurate statement.
I truly have missed writing, but I have been so busy with real life things--you know, like spending loads of time with the husband and loving it, teaching and doing several other jobs at the school, cooking meals (hey now, lower those raised eyebrows a notch, will ya?), cleaning, doing laundry, reorganizing, reading, worshiping, studying, singing, and completely enjoying this season of life I'm in right now--that I just haven't found the time to blog.
But, I want to be better about it. I want to have a record of this season. I want to be able to look back years from now, and remember both the precious and the trying times. I want to be thankful for both. Those precious times are moments of peace in our marriage, and I relish them. The trying moments, those moments where we struggle, are times that we hate being in but ones that we learn so much from.
Marriage is hard.
Don't get me wrong. We didn't go into this with our eyes closed. We knew it wouldn't be the easiest thing we've ever done. But the moments that are horrible, the ones that knock us to our knees, have (at least very early on) come more often than we'd prefer. Petty, silly arguments. Important, these-things-really-need-to-be-discussed arguments. You name it, we've probably argued about it. We have done exactly what the psalmist says (64:3). We've "...sharpen[ed] [our] tongues like swords and aim[ed] cruel words like arrows" at one another.
Oh but the moments that follow? Those minutes that follow the worst things being said are truly, incredibly sweet. That instant where we are utterly broken before one another and bear our hearts completely, brings such a healing to our hearts and souls. The instant the husband prays with me, when we join together and ask God to make us whole and to soften our hearts, our holy and just Maker does just that. The Holy Spirit brings healing, and we truly enjoy the hours and days and weeks that follow. We become more in sync with one another, more in tune with what the other is feeling and thinking, more careful with our words and actions.Oh, it's simply...wonderful. We look at each other with fresh love, love anew. We try to (not of ourselves--never of ourselves since our sin nature tries hard to be as *selfish* *as* *possible*-- but with the Holy Spirit's leading) "[t]herefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe [ourselves] with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience." Colossians 3:12
I said that we love anew. It feels like new each time.
~It's that I-love-him-as-big-as-the-moon kind of love.
~~It's the can't-stop-hugging-and-hand-holding kind of love.
~~~It's the catch-his-eye-across-the-room kind of love.
~~~~It's the I-cannot-wait-to-start-a-family-with-this-person kind of love.
~~~~~It's the *giggle* okay,-we-may-be-making-others-slightly-uncomfortable-with-our-affection kind of love.
It's lovely. Oh my word, it's lovely.
I know many of you can relate. I know others of you have never had so much as a sour word to say to one another. I still cling to, I still hold tightly to, the promise I made to myself that I will never speak badly about the husband to others. I will seek wise counsel, I will listen to those whose advice I trust, but I will never speak ill of the man God has chosen for me to love, honor, and cherish. Neither of us is perfect, and we are perfectly aware of that fact. We choose to continue loving, living, and worshiping together in our imperfection knowing that in our weakness God's power is made perfect. And, "[t]therefore, [we] will boast all the more gladly about [our] weaknesses, so that God's power will rest on [us]." 2 Corinthians 2:9