Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Leaky roofs, fountains, and crowns

*I began writing this a week ago in the midst of being ill but finished it today.*

It's been a year.

It's been a year since I casually started chatting (online) with and getting to know the man I'm going to marry in 214 days. Those hours spent chatting online were some of the best, and some of the funniest, conversations I've ever had.

It's been a year since I nervously sang at rehearsal while he watched from the balcony. Then...he talked to me. In person. *Did you hear that giddy, school-girl squeal?*

It's been a year since I sat next to him on the couch at our fellowship group's Christmas party and watched Die Hard. Oh yes. Old-school. Bruce Willis with guns. And with hair. Very romantic. :)

It's been a year, but it seems like I've known him my whole life.

These last few (or 10 or 11...I've lost count) days I've been sick. Coughing, aching, sneezing, throat-burning, voice-losing sick. I hate being sick. It makes me feel weak. And lazy. And dependent. Grrr. I'm ready to feel normal again. I had a lot of time to think and read over the weekend as I lay bundled up in bed. I was able to begin and finish this really great book a parent of a student of mine gave me, and it was so sweet and romantic and girly. I needed a good girly book.

I also wanted to do a little research in the Bible. I haven't done that in a while. I read the Word every day with the kids, but it's not the same as doing it on my own. I missed it. I started with the topical index in the back and started working my way backwards. I do that with magazines (the few that I actually thumb through while sitting in waiting rooms), too. I always start at the back and work my way to the beginning. Do you ever do that?

Anywho...I came upon "wife" and thought about doing a little research on what God says about being a good wife...you know, since I'll actually be one in less than 220 days. But, I kept browsing through the index, though, in case I found something else enticing. I came upon "effort." That one. little. word. grabbed my attention. It's been a pretty hot topic in many of our arguments, *ahem* disagreements, um discussions lately.

It boils down to my lack of effort. Not effort in general. Just as it applies to those discussions. I generally put forth a lot of effort when it comes to my job, my friendships, my responsibilities. I seem to put forth less when it comes to, well, us. I give up too easily. I let past let-downs bog me down and convince me it's not worth arguing about discussing.

I want to be in this relationship all the way. I want to fight for us, but my heart just doesn't want to be in a fight. It doesn't like to be in battle-mode often. The more we get to know each other's quirks and fears and habits, though, it seems the less we find ourselves in one of those discussions. And that makes me happy. Very.

I love looking back at the many transitions we've gone through as a couple in such a short time.

*The "Cute, gooey, make-your-friends-roll-their-eyes" phase was so fun. Neither of us *ever* did *anything* wrong. It was pretty down. right. awesome.

*The "Well, shoot. He/she does have flaws" phase was not quite as fun, and much less charming, but I still loved it because it showed me something important. Even though we were two incredibly different people, we could still work out our differences.

*I don't know if I can label the phase we're in now quite yet. I guess it could be the "We argue, we discuss, we work it out, we love" phase. I like trying now because I know he won't give up. And I'm certainly not a quitter.

So...what does all of this have to do with being a good wife? I don't know. Hah!
Kidding. Sort of. Since I have no experience in being a wife, I'm pretty sure I'm going to do a lot of things wrong to begin with. But. I do know that if I seek out how I should be and how I should act based on what God's Word says, then just maybe, I might turn out to be a pretty good one. Who knows?

I hope I am not "...[a] quarrelsome wife [who] is like the constant dripping of a leaky roof." (Taken from Proverbs 19:13)

I hope that as the fiance looks back on our life together he sees that his "...fountain [was] blessed" and he is able to "...rejoice in the wife of [his] youth." (Taken from Proverbs 5:18)

I hope that I will be "[a] wife of noble character [who] is her husband’s crown," and not "...a disgraceful wife [who] is like decay in his bones." (Taken from Proverbs 12:4)
(I was looking for another picture to go with that verse, but this is one of my favorites...I guess I could draw in a tiny crown on his head...or something...:D)

I long to be a wife of noble character (Proverbs 31:10) so that one day my husband will see that "He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD." (Proverbs 18:22--bolding mine)