Great Need

Last week, each morning after I read my daily Bible chapter, I read  a chapter in A.W. Tozer's The Pursuit of God.  I got it free (if I had an "I-got-it-for-free" dance, this would be where I strutted my stuff!) on my Kindle. If you have a Kindle, I highly recommend downloading this one.  The wording is deep and beautiful (but not too deep that one has a tough time grasping the concepts), and Tozer is completely honest that he's writing it for those who already know Christ.  It's for those who want to know Him more intimately.  I've only read the introduction and the first three chapters, but it's incredibly well-written, and I find myself wishing I could hear him speak in person.

Here are some of the pieces I've gleaned and held fast to:

"God is a Person, and in the deep of His mighty nature He thinks, wills, enjoys, feels, loves, desires, and suffers as any other person may.  In making Himself known to us He stays by the familiar pattern of personality.  He communicates with us through the avenues of our minds, our wills, and our emotions."

~That quote caught me off guard.  I read it and re-read it.  And then, I read it again.  Then, I highlighted it, so I could go back to it when I wanted to ponder it a bit more  What I find myself focusing on the most in what Tozer says is the parts of God's nature. The parts I, honestly, forget are there.  I do know He loves me.  I do focus often on His will.  But the others?  Not so much.  But, I should, right?  If we as His people are to know Him deeply, to follow His lead, then shouldn't we know His voice?  So that when He calls to us, when He gently speaks, we know it's Him who's calling? And, in order to know His voice, shouldn't we know Him intimately?  To know a person intimately is to listen to his thoughts, to understand what drives him.  It's to find gladness in what he enjoys and empathize when he hurts.  Do I know my Creator that intimately?  That deeply enough that I know what pains Him? What brings Him joy?   If I read His word, I can find ALL of His characteristics displayed throughout its pages.  I can know Him.

"Every age has its own characteristics.  Right now we are in an age of religious complexity.  The simplicity which is in Christ is rarely found among us.  In its stead are programs, methods, organizations, and a world of nervous activities which occupy time and attention but can never satisfy the longing of the heart."

~What amazes me most is that this book was first published in 1948.  1948, y'all.  But, when I look at the above passage, it sounds as if Tozer hopped on that train from Chicago to Texas just last week and jotted down his thoughts.  Right?! Our world is by no means simple.  Every part of my life, up until bed rest, seemed to be filled with activities and programs and organizations.  Some of those things, I took willingly into my life.  Others were placed there for me by work duties and family obligations.  But weeks before I was put on bed rest, I began taking stock of the things that kept me busy, and I pared back.  And, it felt refreshing.  No longer were my days and nights swamped.  I hope that even after the bed rest command has been lifted I will be able to have those moments of rest, those moments that are now filled with finding contentment in the simplicity of life which is in Christ.  It's precious.

"Within the human heart 'things' have taken over.  Men have now by nature no peace within their hearts, for God is crowned there no longer, but there in the moral dusk stubborn and aggressive usurpers fight among themselves for first place on the throne."

~Firstly, the wording here is gorgeous.  No one writes like this anymore, and it makes me inwardly weep to know that the books and newspapers and magazines and any other source of written word that one might call "literature" currently on the market have been successfully dumbed down to an 8th grade reading level or lower.  And, even children's books have been reduced to short chapters full of simple paragraphs filled with small, easily-read words (rather than deliciously-large words that get talked about with adults or looked up in dictionaries). Great works of literature like those written by C.S. Lewis and J.R.R. Tolkien and Louisa May Alcott and Frances Hodgson Burnett don't seem to be flying off the shelves quite like books of a simpler nature.  Why is that?  Are the children lazier now?  I don't think so; I was ridiculously lazy (Sorry, Mom and Dad!), but I couldn't wait to share chapters of Little Women with my mom on those hot summer afternoons before I started 4th grade.  Are the parents less involved in reading alongside their children?  Maybe.  Is the advertising of those easily-read-in-a-day books better than that of books it takes someone days or even weeks to get lost in, to grow fond of, to devour?  Possibly.  I don't know the answer. 

~Secondly, I don't know how I got so far off topic! Tozer's quote above is so very true in my own life, and I would bet it's at least partially true in your own (though if I am wrong, please forgive me!).  I definitely see "usurpers" try to take precedence in my life, that fight for control of the throne of my heart.  "Usurpers" like being in control...so that would be, ahem, ME who wants to be on that throne, or the something-bigger-is-better thought...like finding a house to fit all of our "stuff."  I do not need to be in control; I need God to be.  I know this.  He knows this.  You know this.  And, still.  Still, I find myself irritated when things don't go MY way (house issues (not being able to get a house any time soon), chores around the house, bed rest).  Why?  My way is certainly not better.  I do know why.  I understand my thought process, and at the moment MY WAY shoves its way in, my wishes/demands/desires seem truly valid.  But, I don't know the future.  I don't know how things are going to work out, and that's all the more reason I should trust in the One who does know. 
Bed rest is forcing me to give up some control (though The Husband will tell you that I haven't given up without a fight).  It's also giving me time to think about what's important and what's not.  Do I still want to move to a house and sell our condo?  Of course--for many, many reasons.  Do I trust Him to get us through living in a crowded space until HE wants us to move?  Yes, even though it's painful to be told to wait.  Y'all, patience is not my biggest strength.  But, will I wait?  Definitely.  I want to move when He says to.  I don't want to kick and shove and force our way into a house and then regret it.  I know with Him in the lead, it will be a much smoother voyage.  The Husband's job journey has proved that in massive amounts.  For almost two years he searched and struggled to find a job.  Then, out of nowhere, he was handed one.  Now, don't get me wrong.  He had to be prepared for it.  And, he was.  BECAUSE of the two years of waiting.  The waiting produced so much fruit that he's now able to do this job well.  Two years ago, he wouldn't have been ready.

So, I wait.  And, I wait knowing that I'm asking God to be on the throne of my heart more often than I place myself there.

I'll leave you with this.  

I saw this quote by Charles H. Spurgeon on Pinterest several weeks ago, and it's been on my heart and in my head a lot lately.

 I do.