Surrender

I just ate slices of plum and dark chocolate chip morsels for a snack.   It's 6:30pm, you know, the "typical" dinner time, but The Husband isn't home yet, and I was hungry.  So, I fixed something that was both tasty and healthy!  I'm sure he'll walk in the door any minute and will want to eat dinner...maybe he'll settle for slices of plum and dark chocolate chip morsels, too?

This past Monday night, The Husband and I began a Bible study with a group of sweet friends.  Here's what I posted on FB when we arrived home.

"We just returned home from a wonderful, thought-provoking, encouraging Bible study with a small group of dear friends. I'm already looking forward to next week's meeting and to each day's lessons this week. I can't wait to see how God is going to work in and through us all these next five weeks and how we will grow closer as brothers and sisters in Christ. Going to sleep extra thankful tonight."

It's a six-week study, and it's entitled not a fan: completely.  committed.  follower.  If you're interested in learning more about this particular Bible study, you can visit their website.  

What I've taken away from it so far, what has really struck me to my core, is that I want to be a follower of Christ.  I don't want to simply admire Him, esteem Him, think He's a neat guy who wants to be my friend.  I want to see, to know, to believe with my heart and shout with my lips, who He truly is:  holy God, forgiver of my sins, savior of the world.  

I want to pick up my cross daily and follow Him.  

Y'all, DAILY.  

Moment by moment.  

While sitting there, surrounded by our friends, speaking about the video we had just watched and answering the soul-searching questions, it hit me.  This means that I if I am to do this thing, this being a follower and not simply a fan, I must start LETTING GO of all of the things that I hold sooo tightly.  Those dreams that I tuck deep down so that I can CONTROL them.  I have to stop pretending that I am some god. 

Because, you see, I have NO control.  Not really.  Trusting God with my dreams, my worries, the people I care so much about, requires me to daily ask Christ to interfere in my life (you know, the one He created).  

There's a journal that goes along with this study.  It has three parts that the participants work on daily for six weeks.  There are questions and challenges and thought-provoking statements throughout, purposely there to draw the student closer to Christ.  It's been heart-awakening.

I grow more in love with my Savior every day. 

I've been listening to a Beth Moore hour-long Bible study my sister loaned me on my iPod whenever I've gone to work out at the gym the last couple of weeks.   Today's was a "Hello?!" moment, if I ever had one.   The title of today's lesson was "Who Do You Trust?"  Y'all I can't make this stuff up.  The message focused on what we're holding onto, that thing or things that we wrap up in a nice little box and bury in the back of the closet so that we have control.  We think that if we stop clinging tightly to that thing or things, then it's over . Done.  But, my God says He knows the plans He has for me.  How could my earthly human plans be better than the plans my Father in heaven has had for me since the beginning of time?  

This song popped into my head that first night and has stayed with me all week.  
The words are so very true.  
I want to surrender.