Like yesterday

It's been one month.
Can you believe that?
It's been a month since I delivered her. Lost her.
Some days, it feels like it was just yesterday.
Some days, it feels like it's been years.
Today was a "like yesterday" kind of day, and I felt like just throwing in the towel as they say; though I don't know who they are...
I think I may be suffering from a little bit of postpartum depression (with an extra helping of grief thrown in there).  I say *think* because not every day is terrible, and my doctor hasn't made the diagnosis.  It's just some days, I feel like EVERYTHING is falling apart; that if I sigh just hard enough, the walls around us will come crashing down.  It's my fault.  It's his fault.  It's our fault.  We mess up.  Things happen. Terrible, no-good, very bad days like today happen.
But not every day is terrible.
This past weekend was far from terrible.  Well, not far, because there were moments that were hard to deal with.  But overall, the weekend was nice.  Pleasant.  And it gave us some much-needed change of scenery.
Saturday, we worked on sorting and packing away more things that were in piles.  Here's the dwindling pile in the living room.
I sorted most of our books and filled both bookcases.  They are packed!
Here's The Husband sorting some of his junk, um, things. I jest.  Sort of.  I know those things are important to him just like my junk things are important to me.  I just wish we had more room to store all of this stuff.  Oh, if you live near us and have a long (maybe 4 or 5 feet?), foldable table we could borrow for a while, please let me know!  :)
While he worked with his things, I began planning out dinners for the next two weeks.  We only go grocery shopping every two weeks, and therefore, I really want to be wise with our spending.  I'm hoping that planning out the meals will help us waste less food.  I always have awesome intentions when it comes to the things we purchase.  I don't always end up following through, and food gets wasted.  If you squint really hard and wiggle your nose just right, maybe you'll see that because it's Monday I fixed baked tilapia and my mom's green beans dish tonight.  Yum!! Tomorrow night, I'm fixing pasta salad with roasted veggies (mostly peppers--red, yellow, orange).
Sunday was worship, and worship we did!  Wow.  To feel the Holy Spirit move through the body of Christ like that as we all stood and worshiped together in song was one of the most incredible moments in my life. I can't explain it beyond that.

After lunch, we headed out to the lake.
It was a chance to help celebrate my cousin's little girl's birthday and to visit with family we don't see often.   While there, I got to visit with my very sweet cousin Jenny.  I wish we lived closer together.

The Husband and I stayed after the party for a while and visited with Jenny's parents.  We lounged by the pool under a giant umbrella and enjoyed the view.

I hated to leave, but we had made plans to have dinner with Hank (yep, THE Hank) and his mom that night, so we said our good-byes and skedaddled out the door.
The conversation was great, and dinner was super tasty (Good job, Hank!).
Here are a few shots from that night. :)
Tasty salad
Delicious tomato soup
Incredibly filling baked potato with all the fixings
Lemon meringue pie that I could only taste because I was completely stuffed!

These next two shots had me giggling as I took them, so they are a bit blurry.  Now I see where Hank gets his humor, and The Husband fits right in ;)
Thanks sooo much, Robin and Hank, for having us!


  1. I knew yesterday was going to be hard, and I was so glad y'all had fun things lined up for the weekend. I wish I knew how to make the very difficult days better, but all I can do is be there for you anytime you want me to be. Please continue to rest in God's assurance of His love and caring. I know this is a very deep valley right now - don't let it go on too long without talking with your doctor. You are a wise young woman, and I know you realize sometimes even the strongest people need some help with depression. We love you and continue to send up prayers for comfort, strength and peace for you and Spencer.


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