A New Normal

Then.
Hanging out with The Husband
and with friends like Hank
and being silly in restaurants
because we could.

Now.
Receiving 
20
30
40
sympathy cards
in less than two weeks.

Having 
wonderful, caring people 
pour themselves 
into fixing/providing delicious meals for us every other night.

Being presented with
plants
 and
flowers
and giant, child-made signs 
from the ones who grieve alongside us.

Finding monetary gifts 
on my desk at work 
after being gone for two weeks
and feeling a sense of awe 
at the generosity 
of our friends and coworkers.

Knowing that we will be in debt
for quite a while 
to the hospital that
took such amazing care (I wish I could double underline the word amazing because the hospital staff was absolutely incredible)
of the three of us
at one of the worst possible times.
(Jeanette and Tracy, you will probably never read this, but you were two of the kindest, most precious nurses.  The time you took with us, the care you gave us, and the kindness you showed us will never be forgotten. You were such blessings.)

Seeing the pictures 
a talented 
and
caring
photographer-friend of my teaching partner 
took of
our 
Hadley 
that day at the hospital. 

Looking at 
the sweet, sweet book
she made for us,
for my parents,
and for The Husband's parents.
(Jana, your gifts--the time you spent at the hospital, the gorgeous collage that we will TREASURE, the CD of priceless pictures, and the sweet books--meant and mean so much to the two of us.  You were a blessing we were not expecting in the midst of such pain. Thank you.)

These things are our new normal.  

I went back to work today after being gone for two weeks.  It was difficult and lovely.

Difficult to step back into a world that used to be filled with such joy and expectation.
Lovely as I spent moments with children who missed me and who love me.

The verse my sister sent me yesterday? The one a friend sent her?
"Fear not for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10

Our memory verse in pre-k this week (you know, the one that has been in the trimester plans since last summer, the one that I didn't even remember I was teaching until I did my lesson plans yesterday)?
"Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." 1 Peter 5:7

I'm casting
Lord.
Thank you for surrounding us with those who are 
Your hands and feet.

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