A New Normal

Then.

Hanging out with The Husband

and with friends like Hank

and being silly in restaurants

because we could.

Now.

Receiving 

20

30

40

sympathy cards

in less than two weeks.

Having 

wonderful, caring people 

pour themselves 

into fixing/providing delicious meals for us every other night.

Being presented with

plants

 and

flowers

and giant, child-made signs 

from the ones who grieve alongside us.

Finding monetary gifts 

on my desk at work 

after being gone for two weeks

and feeling a sense of awe 

at the generosity 

of our friends and coworkers.

Knowing that we will be in debt

for quite a while 

to the hospital that

took such amazing care (I wish I could double underline the word amazing because the hospital staff was absolutely incredible)

of the three of us

at one of the worst possible times.

(Jeanette and Tracy, you will probably never read this, but you were two of the kindest, most precious nurses.  The time you took with us, the care you gave us, and the kindness you showed us will never be forgotten. You were such blessings.)

Seeing the pictures 

a talented 

and

caring

photographer-friend of my teaching partner 

took of

our 

Hadley 

that day at the hospital. 

Looking at 

the sweet, sweet book

she made for us,

for my parents,

and for The Husband's parents.

(Jana, your gifts--the time you spent at the hospital, the gorgeous collage that we will TREASURE, the CD of priceless pictures, and the sweet books--meant and mean so much to the two of us.  You were a blessing we were not expecting in the midst of such pain. Thank you.)

These things are our new normal.  

I went back to work today after being gone for two weeks.  It was difficult and lovely.

Difficult to step back into a world that used to be filled with such joy and expectation.

Lovely as I spent moments with children who missed me and who love me.

The verse my sister sent me yesterday? The one a friend sent her?

"Fear not for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10

Our memory verse in pre-k this week (you know, the one that has been in the trimester plans since last summer, the one that I didn't even remember I was teaching until I did my lesson plans yesterday)?

"Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." 1 Peter 5:7

I'm casting, 

Lord.

Thank you for surrounding us with those who are 

Your hands and feet.