Writer's Block, Nutella, and a Few Hallelujahs

Wow. It's been a while. I've missed this. By this, I mean jotting down ideas, editing, writing some more...then hitting that Publish Post button and putting my thoughts out there for all to read (and by all, I mean the precious 4 of you who read the things I post lol--love you!!).

I've been in some sort of writer's-block-funk these last few weeks. I haven't had any new or original ideas that seemed worth writing about.

I suppose I could write about the inordinate amount of Nutella I have consumed lately. It's ridiculous. And not at all healthy. And oh-so-yummy.

I could write about the fact that school is out (can I get a "hallelujah"?!), I went home (my hometown) for a week, and I got to see part of my wonderful family and a few of my fabulous friends.

I could write about how according to an application on my iPod Touch, the left hemisphere of my brain is most definitely dominant. I agreed with all of the reasons it listed up until it mentioned something about me adjusting "well to changes in [my] environment." That part made me giggle. A lot.

I could write about how my ability to withstand irritation/aggravation has been incredibly low lately.

Ding, ding, ding. Irritation/aggravation it is.

Good grief, I almost can't stand to be around myself when I get that way, so how on God's green earth can I expect others to want to be around me? Actually, I think I hide those feelings pretty darn well *thankyouverymuch* when I'm around people who are new-ish or who I don't want to frighten off unintentionally. Those closest to me can read me pretty well and know when things aren't going too smoothly in this life that I like to have neatly organized and maintained. What's the one thing that screws up that well-run life of mine, you (the 4 of you) might be asking? Change. Grrr. I know it's part of life. I truly have been getting better at adjusting when change is thrust upon me (you know, because it's been thrust upon me so stinking much this last year), but sometimes I just get tired of the constant rearrangement. I'm a routine kind of girl. I ♥ lists and organizing and schedules. I love the constancy of knowing what's going to happen at any given time of the day (yes...even in the summer). Now that's not to say that I don't like surprises, because in reality, I emphatically LOVE surprises. But I don't classify surprises as change. Maybe I should, but this is my blog, and I get to not classify them if I so choose. *ahem* Moving on.

Even if it's a good change (and in all fairness, there have been a few good changes these last few months), it still often throws me. Say I'm told something is going to go a certain way. I mull it over, I plan for it, I get all psyched-up for it, and then the something goes a completely different direction. I mentally lie in anguish. I just get so disappointed...almost like it's the end of the world. I'm a big girl; I can handle most things. I just hate planning and dreaming and adjusting to things just to have those things slip away or get shoved pushed to the side or gotten rid of all together. I know it's not just me, but I also know I don't handle those disappointments quite as well as I could. You know, like, um, an adult. *sheesh*

So, I guess lately, there have been some changes that I originally adjusted well to and then those things didn't pan out (or are looking like they might not happen), and I'm just irritated.

Mostly, I'm just aggravated because I've gotten out of the habit of immersing myself in God's word and diving deep. I've been distracted and focused on life as it's happening all around me, and I've stopped looking to the Giver of life. I'm unhappy that I've let myself sit and wallow and not go to the Author and Perfecter with my crazy I-abhor-change-issues.

So here goes, and stay with me because the end? Well, the end is the best part :).

I did a search for the word change in The Message (my go-to version of the Bible), and I found some interesting and brow-furrowing verses. I love what Jesus says in this one:

"'Great gifts mean great responsibilities; greater gifts, greater responsibilities! I've come to start a fire on this earth—how I wish it were blazing right now! I've come to change everything, turn everything rightside up—how I long for it to be finished! Do you think I came to smooth things over and make everything nice? Not so. I've come to disrupt and confront!'" Luke 12:48 and 49

He's talking about a kind of change I can only imagine! I long for that kind of change; the change that will take place when He's going to come into his final kingdom.

I found this one completely reassuring...

"...There should be a consistency that runs through us all. For Jesus doesn't change—yesterday, today, tomorrow, he's always totally himself." Hebrews 13:7

"...always totally himself." That's good stuff.

And this one reminds me of how merciful He really is and how change can be an awesome thing!

"Don't overlook the obvious here, friends. With God, one day is as good as a thousand years, a thousand years as a day. God isn't late with his promise as some measure lateness. He is restraining himself on account of you, holding back the End because he doesn't want anyone lost. He's giving everyone space and time to change." 2 Peter 3:8

To change, to make that choice to accept Christ, to become more like Him daily, to forfeit all we have for His glory, now that's the kind of change I long for.

Finally, I searched for irritation/aggravation (just for grins and giggles...and to see if God addresses those contemptible feelings...hah!), and this verse put everything into perspective. I adore when God does that. It's like He's saying,

"Yes, Joy. It's been there all along. I've been here all along. Soak it in, Beloved. Listen to My voice. Hear the words that will calm your spirit, and know that I AM."

"What a God we have! And how fortunate we are to have him, this Father of our Master Jesus! Because Jesus was raised from the dead, we've been given a brand-new life and have everything to live for, including a future in heaven—and the future starts now! God is keeping careful watch over us and the future. The Day is coming when you'll have it all—life healed and whole.

I know how great this makes you feel, even though you have to put up with every kind of aggravation in the meantime. Pure gold put in the fire comes out of it proved pure; genuine faith put through this suffering comes out proved genuine. When Jesus wraps this all up, it's your faith, not your gold, that God will have on display as evidence of his victory." 1 Peter 1:3-7

So, soak it in. Breath in His peace. And know that "the future starts now...[and] the Day is coming"!!! Now, I know I can get a "hallelujah!" ;)

Change schmange. I'll get through those adjustments, those modifications, one day at a time knowing that God asks me "to put up with every kind of aggravation" because His Day is coming and this new life He's given me is leading up to my future with Him. A future that is with the One who never changes...not yesterday, not today, not tomorrow. Amen!