I don't know what I would do without my faith in Jesus, the Resurrection and the Life.  I think losing someone to death would be unimaginably difficult and completely unbearable. Two days ago, my Uncle David passed away.  It was a shock, and it tore my heart in two.  Uncle David was a man filled with kindness, generosity, love, and humor.  He loved Jesus.  He loved his family.  He loved teaching.  He loved baseball.  He and I had a bond (especially when I was younger), and I'll never forget the time he took with me, the letters he sent, and the small tokens of affection I'd receive periodically in the mail.  He took an interest in me.  And, he was downright fun.  I miss him.  It doesn't yet feel real that he's gone.  I grieve with and pray for my family (especially for his wife and children and his brothers). It's been one year ago today that I delivered and said good-bye to Hadley.  Some moments have been harder ...

It's been one month. Can you believe that? It's been a month since I delivered her. Lost her. Some days, it feels like it was just yesterday. Some days, it feels like it's been years. Today was a "like yesterday" kind of day, and I felt like just throwing in the towel as they say; though I don't know who they are... I think I may be suffering from a little bit of postpartum depression (with an extra helping of grief thrown in there).  I say *think* because not every day is terrible, and my doctor hasn't made the diagnosis.  It's just some days, I feel like EVERYTHING is falling apart; that if I sigh just hard enough, the walls around us will come crashing down.  It's my fault.  It's his fault.  It's our fault.  We mess up.  Things happen. Terrible, no-good, very bad days like today happen. But not every day is terrible. This past weekend was far from terrible.  Well, not far, because there were moments that were hard to deal wit...

The moment the test came back positive The moment we loved you for the first time The moment we heard your heartbeat The moment we saw your arms and legs moving, moving The moment we found out something might be wrong The moment we saw you were a girl, and we began to pray pray pray for you like never before--by name The moment you first kicked or shoved, and Daddy and I could feel you at the same time The moment I worried that I wasn't feeling you like I had been The moment they tried and tried and tried but couldn't find your heartbeat The moment the doctor shook her head and said, "I'm sorry." The moment we were admitted to the hospital, in the maternity ward, where mothers were delivering their sweet little ones The moment the nurses began to induce and the physical pain set in right alongside the emotional pain we were all in the midst of The moment we realized it was going to be a long night...and then a long...